The Path Between Us: An Enneagram Journey to Healthy Relationships

by Suzanne Stabile

One key to relationships with Twos is to help bridge the gap. Here are some other things to keep in mind: Twos experience anxiety when they recognize that they are feeling their own feelings. They don’t know a lot about how to act on their own behalf. Try to help Twos find a way to share with you what they honestly feel. Twos can only process verbally. They don’t think things through—they talk their way through them. You can avoid so much misunderstanding by keeping this in mind. Don’t trust their answer when they say they’re fine or good. Press a little deeper. Twos want honest feedback, but they take everything personally. So if you say, “I don’t like your spaghetti recipe,” they hear, “I don’t like you.” You don’t need to remind them that it isn’t personal; they know that and they’re trying to outgrow that way of thinking. In an intimate relationship, Twos need to hear you say, “I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. There’s nothing you need to do, there’s nothing you need to be, and there’s nothing you need to help me with. I love you for you.” Encourage Twos to let you address your own feelings. Twos need a partner who is demonstrative with affection. It is very reassuring. Twos need a partner who wants to meet and know their friends. While Twos are happy to be second in command, be sure to acknowledge their contribution. Try to have patience when Twos are overly concerned regarding their relationships with other people. Your impatience with that reality will only add t...