How to Break Up With Your Phone: The 30-Day Plan to Take Back Your Life

by Catherine Price

What I realised was that we reach for our phones for many reasons, some of which are purely practical, some of which are subconscious, and some of which are surprisingly emotionally deep. Simply telling ourselves to spend less time on our phones is the equivalent of telling ourselves to stop being attracted to people who are bad for us: it’s easier said than done, and is probably going to require a good therapist – or at the very least, an extremely well-considered plan.

This is a really big deal, because our attention is the most valuable thing we have. We experience only what we pay attention to. We remember only what we pay attention to. When we decide what to pay attention to in the moment, we are making a broader decision about how we want to spend our lives.

If you spend two hours a day doing anything, you’re going to get pretty good at it. If I spent two hours a day practising the piano, I’d be able to accomplish my long-standing goal of learning to sight-read music within a couple of months. If I spent two hours a day studying Spanish, it wouldn’t be long before I’d be able to have a basic conversation.

next time you find yourself tempted to look at your phone, pause instead. Take a breath and just notice the craving. Don’t give in to it, but don’t try to make it go away. Observe it. See what happens.

One way to do this is to simply acknowledge that you’re disappointed, and then do something to offset the behavior you feel bad about and to regain momentum – kind of like a carbon offset, but with your phone.

There is nothing wrong with mindless distraction. There are times when zoning out on your phone is exactly what you want to do. What is problematic – and what we’re trying to avoid – is letting a state of mindless distraction become our default.

We’ve talked about how, both literally and metaphorically, our lives are what we pay attention to. So please take a moment right now to answer this question: What do you want to pay attention to?

There’s a saying, “How you do anything is how you do everything.”