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“I get fifty percent of your twenty,” she points out. I turn left, watching the road. “Or you can get a hundred percent of a fat lip. How about that?”
They run around like they own the whole world, but I guess wolves born on a leash never know they shouldn’t be wearing one.
I gaze at the tables filled along the wall, spotting Trent and staring until she looks up and stops acting like she doesn’t know I’m here. It’s kind of fun knowing that Jared Trent’s daughter owes me money.
I turn, grabbing the door handle and pulling open Dylan’s door. But then Tommy’s scream hits my back. “He’s in the house!” she shouts. I blink long and hard, resisting the urge to curse at a thirteen-year-old. Goddammit.
He’s jump roping. How cute. We’re running for our lives, and bro-for-brains is pursuing inner calm with endorphins and green tea.
“Aro Teresa Marquez,” she tells me. “And you may not remember me years from now, and maybe no one will think of me and no one will want to, but I was fucking here.”
He has people and college and cash in his wallet. He knows he’s important. Why does it bug me so much? I know what they’re like. They can’t hurt me. Why did I feel so small in there?
She’s not a bomb. She’s patient, quiet, unyielding, and permanent. She withstands. Like steel. Like an ax.
“What is this place to you? How did you find it?” I look up at him as he stands near me, but when he turns his eyes down on me, I stop breathing for a second. I blink, turning forward, toward the stove. “Why do you look away when I look at you?” he asks instead.
Putting those kids in foster care won’t make Aro Marquez more cooperative with me. But her stepdad needs to go. 240 – Assault, I type out. I add in Domestic Violence, Person with a Gun, Child Abuse, Shooting at Inhabited Dwelling, and…—I think and then shrug—Dead Human Body.
“The thing is,” I tell her, my tone growing hard, “when that little animal in my head looks up at me and I look back at her… It’s never you I see, Schuyler.” She stops her little mewls, and I steel my spine, closing out the video on the monitor. “Your lip looks like it hurts,” I tell her, remembering how swollen it was in the video. “Try a cold compress.”
“I had it under control.” He just laughs. “I had him under control,” I say more clearly. Finally, he looks over at me. “You’re funny.”
“There could be other family here,” I tell Hawke. “Does the dad have a girlfriend?” “A new one every week,” he deadpans. “Stay with me.”
I want to ask her what happened, but I close my mouth instead. That conversation is for people who trust each other.
When I don’t answer, Aro starts mumbling under her breath in Spanish, loud enough for me to hear and assuming I don’t know she’s talking shit about my family and me. I ignore it.
“Don’t get into trouble,” I tell Aro. I can’t see her mouth, but I feel like she makes a face before veering off and walking into the crowd. I almost call after her, but fuck it. It’s not like she’ll be able to hide a Mustang in her sweatshirt.
And as I take Tommy back to the car, I can’t stop saying Aro’s name over and over in my head, and I don’t know why. Maybe so I never forget. So, I’ll remember she was here. Aro Teresa Marquez.
I don’t want to leave. Not for underwear. Not for Schuyler. Not just yet.
Vivamus, moriendum est.’ It was there when I got here,” I tell her and then translate. “‘Let us live, since we must die.’”
She’ll never need saving. She’ll always get up. I already know that about her.
I take in my appearance once more and then shake my head. Guys look at girls. It doesn’t mean anything. That girl I kicked in the face is pretty perfect. Or was. Before I kicked her in the face.
I clear my throat. “I do know someone who…can maybe help.” He arches a brow. “‘Help?’” I wiggle my eyebrows. “A prostitute?” he shouts. “Just to get you over the hump,” I explain quickly. “Maybe if you just do it—get the pressure off you for the first time—you’ll feel a lot better and more relaxed.” He points to the door. “Get out.”
“You have your own bed,” I hear him bite. I yawn. “Watch me sleep there or here. Either way, you’re a creeper.”
She’s kinda cute. When she’s quiet.
“What happens when I don’t know where you are?” She sits there, her face barely visible behind her hair, but I see more tears spill. “I like you,” I tell her. “Everything has changed for me.” I can’t go back to my friends and live like none of this ever happened. And my heart hurts, thinking about her out there, living as if I never existed. Will she forget me?
“I won’t stop you from doing anything, no matter how much I hate it,” I tell her. “But you have to tell me what you’re doing.” Her body shakes a little, but I don’t hear any sounds as she cries. “I can’t help you if I can’t find you.”
“I see the star, but the star will never see me. It’ll still be there long after me. Through millions of me’s.” She pauses and then whispers, “Life goes on, no matter if I pay the bills or not.”
Life goes on. So, we live. As hard as we can for as long as we can, and we feel everything, because if it doesn’t kill us, something will. But she’s too busy fighting for things I’ve never had to fight for. And I hate that.
“Should we go?” She jerks her eyes to me. “Already?” I laugh again, because she looks devastated. “Live on other planets, I mean?” I tell her. “Instead of fixing this one?” She turns back to the screens. “We can do both,” she replies. “But we’ll definitely have to leave. Having all our eggs in one basket here on Earth didn’t work out well for the dinosaurs, you know?” I nod. “Yeah.”
“You weren’t born here. You were born billions of years ago, Aro. You’re stardust.” I look over, meeting her eyes. “The stars don’t need to see you. They know you.”
I’d hurt anyone who hurt him. It’s the only thing I’m good for, but I’m good at it.
She places her hands on my shoulders. “Turn off the game,” she says. “Turn on some music.” “I’m not sure—” “Do it now, Hawke.” Yeah. Okay.
I go still, keeping my hands on her but not moving either of us. “Just touching,” she murmurs. Someone who’s patient. Nice. Someone who lets me explore. A lump stretches my throat, but I nod. “Okay.” I trust her.
“Will you hang me?” He bites my neck. “If you leave a note, I’ll do it any way you want me to.”
“Leave your door unlocked tonight,” he says quietly. “In case I want to taste what my fingers touched.”
The building across the quad says Saber Science Building. I walk over and enter, letting myself forget for a minute like I do when I’m with him. I let myself pretend.
“Aren’t you going to tell me not to mess around with other guys?” I ask, holding him close. He revs the engine. “I already know you won’t.” He speeds off, the bike jerks, and I tighten my arms, whispering, “Because you know you’re the one I like.” Great. I gave it all away right off the bat, didn’t I?
“Whipping the controller around doesn’t make your character go any faster,” Hawke tells me. Yes, it does.
“You think I would let her touch me?” he whispers, hefting me up high. “Only you’re allowed to touch me.”
“But I really love it.” She sighs. “And I want to get there on my own. Not because of my name.” Great. Do all rich kids have this much character? I hate being wrong about people.
“Oh!” Dylan blurts out, turning to look at me. “We forgot to have you sign a waiver.” A waiver? But she waves me off. “We’ll make a verbal agreement. I hurt you, and you can’t sue me, okay?” I side-eye her. “You hurt me, I hurt you.” She turns, facing the track again. “That’s fair.”
She’s already inked me once. And she tattooed my mother’s bite marks on my father, for Christ’s sake. Now that was a dumb tattoo.
She starts to tear up. “I know it shouldn’t have been with me. It just happened so fast. It—” I look up at her. “Can we do it again?”
“I want to crawl inside of you sometimes,” I whisper. “Sometimes I want you to be all that I can see and hear. So that nothing exists in the world to me but the feel of you.”
“Weston can’t have you back,” he tells me. “You’re mine.”
“Oh, shit!” I pop my head up, Hawke stops, and I see Stoli standing in the doorway. But only for a split-second. Hawke comes down on me, covering my body and face, and then I hear Stoli shout, “Sorry, Hawke!” And he slams the door. “They’re busy!” We hear Stoli yell to someone. “Super busy!” “Seriously?” Dirk says outside the door. And then a shout, “Way to go, Hawke!” I try not to, but I snort. His friends are so supportive.
I feel him—only him—every sense and every breath filled with him, because for the first time ever, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. And the sky is looking back. “I want to stay here forever,” I whisper.
“And whose side are you on tonight?” But I say it with a small smile, so she knows I’m teasing. Kind of teasing. There’s a lot more to her home than just Green Street, and the only thing she has here is me. It’s hard to be sure what she has to fight for. But instead of saying Falls or Weston, she just says, “Yours.”
I don’t want her to ever speak another word again that I can’t hear.
“I love you,” I say. “I know, baby.”
