excerpts from the book i'll never write

by Nadia Nell Starbinski

I feel this overwhelming darkness begin to devour me and I’m scared my skeletons are beginning to peak their heads out of my closet. I am sad.

Not in this beautiful way that everyone romanticized. I am anxious. Not in this aesthetic where claiming to have mental illness is worth bragging about.

I am lost. In every definition of the word. I am suffocating, yet I am the one hold...

Some nights I think about dying and some nights I think about living till I break.

Sometimes there are people who come into your life and leave a permanent mark. They paint your soul different colors and change the way you see the world. When they leave, you realize that somewhere along the way you lost yourself. You don’t even know who you are anymore because they made you into something completely different. I don’t miss you. I miss myself.

is okay to be sad for no reason, a billion reasons, or for one small reason.

You are limitless. The things you are capable of are infinite. There is someone waiting to tell you how proud they are of you for making it this far.