How to Break Up with Your Phone, Revised Edition: The 30-Day Digital Detox Plan

by Catherine Price

We feel busy but ineffective. Connected but lonely. The same technology that gives us freedom can also act like a leash—and the more tethered we become, the more it raises the question of who’s actually in control. The result is a paralyzing tension: we love our phones, but we often hate the way they make us feel. And no one seems to know what to do about it.

It means prioritizing real-life relationships over those that take place on screens.

Do you find yourself spending more time on your cell or smartphone than you realize?

Do you find yourself mindlessly passing time on a regular basis by staring at your cell or smartphone?

Do you find yourself spending more time texting, tweeting, or emailing as opposed to talking to people in person?

Has the amount of time you spend on your cell or smartphone been increasing?

Do you wish you could be a little less involved ...

Do you sleep with your cell or smartphone (turned on) under your pillow or nex...

Do you find yourself viewing and answering texts, tweets, and emails at a...

night—even if it means interrupting other thing...

Do you text, email, tweet, Snapchat, Facebook message, or surf while driving or doing other similar activities that require your ...

Do you feel reluctant to be without your cell or smartphone, even for a short time?

Do you feel ill at ease or uncomfortable when you accidentally leave your smartphone in the car or at home, have no service, or have a broken phone?

When you eat meals, is your cell or smartphone always part of the...

When your cell or smartphone rings, beeps, or buzzes, do you feel an intense urge to check for texts, twee...

Do you find yourself mindlessly checking your cell or smartphone many times a day, even when you know there is likely nothing new or important to see?

Americans check their phones about 47 times per day. For people between 18 and 24, the average is 82. Collectively, this adds up to more than 9 billion phone checks every day.

On average, Americans spend more than 4 hours a day on their phones. That amounts to about 28 hours a

week, 112 hours a month, or 56 full...

Nearly 80 percent of Americans check their phones within a half hour of waking up.

More than 80 percent of Americans report that they keep their phones near them “almost all the time during waking hours.”

Nearly 5 out of 10 Americans agree with this statement: “I

can’t imagine my life without my ...

I’m part of the generation, in other words, that came of age along with the internet: I’m old enough to remember the world before it, but young enough that I can’t imagine life without it.

I began to notice that I often picked up my phone “just to check,”

I’d open an app with a sense of anticipation, and then be disappointed when it didn’t provide the satisfaction that I sought.

Any time I had to wait for anything—a friend, a doctor, an elevator—my phone appeared in my hand. I found myself glancing at my phone in the middle of conversations (a habit that’s so common that it’s coined a neologism: phubbing, short for phone snubbing), conveniently forgetting how annoyed I felt when other people phubbed me. I was gripped by a constant compulsion to pick up my phone, presumably so that I didn’t miss something important. But when I evaluated what I was doing, important was pretty much the last word that came to mind.

checking my phone nearly always contributed to it. I’d look at it for a second before bed, notice a stressful email in my inbox, and then lie awake for an hour worrying about something that could easily have waited until morning. I’d reach for it to give myself a break, and then end up feeling exhausted and wired. I claimed not to have enough time to pursue interests outside of work, but was that true?

Multiple studies have associated the heavy use of smartphones (especially when used for social media) with negative effects on neuroticism, self-esteem, impulsivity, empathy, self-identity, and self-image, as well as with sleep problems, anxiety, stress, and depression.

many researchers are concluding that smartphones are having a huge impact on the way we (especially teenagers) are

interacting—or, rather, not interacting—with other real ...

smartphones in particular have been deliberately designed to be difficult to put down

smartphones are causing otherwise mentally healthy people to show signs of psychiatric problems such as narcissism, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

this problem is widespread: many people worry that they’re addicted to their phones.

many of the same feel-good brain chemicals and reward loops that drive addictions are also released and activated when we check our phones.

just as often, we reach for our phones to help us avoid something

unpleasant, such as boredom or anxiety.

Feeling bored or anxious? Check your email. Nothing there? Check social media. Not satisfied? Check a different social media account. And then maybe another one. Like a couple of posts. Follow some new people. Check to see if those people followed you back. Maybe go look at your email again, just in case. It’s easy to spend hours on your phone without using the same app twice—or staying focused for more than a few seconds at a time.

If our smartphones excel at one thing, it’s making sure we never, ever have to be alone with ourselves.

our attention is the most valuable thing we have. We experience only what we pay attention to. We remember only what we pay attention to. When we decide what to pay attention to in the moment,

we are making a broader decision about how we want to spend our lives.

most addictions stem from a desire to feel better and/or to make a bad feeling go away.

There is nothing wrong with mindless distraction. There are times when zoning out on your phone is exactly what you want to do. What is problematic—and what we’re trying to avoid—is letting a state of mindless distraction become our default.

Maybe you check it at work because you’re bored with whatever you’re supposed to be doing.

a habit as “a choice that we deliberately make at some point, and then stop thinking about, but continue doing, often every day.”

Notifications use our brains’ natural ability to associate cues with rewards (and our anxiety over uncertainty) to get us to compulsively check our phones.

phones are causing us to exhibit symptoms of psychiatric disorders like ADHD and OCD.

Over time, regular reading causes physical changes to the brain in areas responsible for reasoning, processing visual signals, and even memory.

constantly on guard. My research has convinced me that this is not a trivial issue; our phones are having serious effects on our relationships, our brains (especially young ones), and the way we interact with the world. They are designed to addict us—and from what we know so far, the consequences of this mass addiction don’t look good. Just take a look around you. Phones are changing the experience of being human.

this is your life—what do you want to pay attention to?