I never really knew my dad—he left when I was four. I haven’t seen him in years. But I know he had an alcohol problem and an anger problem. I don’t for sure know what the answer is to the glint-in-his-eye question, but I know that before he had me, he used to win some trophies surfing. I don’t know that I’m right, but just thinking about him not being able to handle the change in life from surfing to wiping my rear, and giving up what probably made him sane . . . Well, it makes me think it probably wasn’t me he left, that his drinking and anger was probably about him losing himself. Realizing
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