The Boy Crisis: Why Our Boys Are Struggling and What We Can Do About It

by Warren Farrell

Kevin’s dad, William, told me, “When Kevin moved back in to his childhood room shortly after we gave him a wonderful thirtieth birthday party, I can remember thinking to myself, ‘This is “proof” I’ve failed as a dad.’ I never said this to Kevin, but it still haunts me.” Kevin nevertheless picked up on his dad’s shame. And yet something bothered Kevin even more: “This girl and I were flirting something fierce at a party. I wanted to ask her to leave with me, but I couldn’t invite her back to my parents’ home, so I just kept flirting. Finally, she says it: ‘It’s so noisy in here. Should we go somewhere else?’ So I suggest a bar. She looks at me like something’s wrong with me. Then her eyes become seductive, and she runs her finger over the buttons on my shirt, and says, ‘Maybe your place? . . . You live near here?’ “I said I did, but that I lived with my parents. I wanted to ask if she had a place we could go to, but I saw how the second I said I lived with my parents, her body language froze. She excused herself ‘to go to the ladies’ room,’ and when she came out, she walked over to a girlfriend, and they both started sneaking glances over at me and laughing. I don’t ever remember feeling more humiliated.”