The Boy Crisis: Why Our Boys Are Struggling and What We Can Do About It
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Men and women may be from different planets, but we are all rowing the same family boat. Between the sexes, there is no such thing as “winning.” Whenever only one sex wins, both sexes lose.
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Ginan
Women in the US, however, are two to three times more likely to attempt suicide than men, but men are four times as likely to actually kill themselves. Women are two times as likely as men to suffer from depression. P 46 Night falls fast
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Boys today have sperm counts less than half of what their grandfathers had at the same age.3
Ginan
But why?
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when both sexes are offered pay should they assess the feelings of others accurately, the empathy gender gap disappears!11 The implication? The capacity for empathy and emotional intelligence is latent inside boys and men; we just have to let guys know we’ll value them for focusing on it.
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If the haters can learn empathy, maybe we can learn empathy toward the haters. When our only response to haters is to hate, we increase our brain’s training to hate and decrease its training to empathize. We become a bit of the enemy we hate.
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both bullies and the bullied have three things in common: both come from negative family, school, and community environments; both have low self-esteem; and both have poor social skills.
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the “gender empathy gap”: caring less about a boy dying than a girl.
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that the sexism that kept women out of work was the same sexism that kept the men overworking.
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If your son is feeling a purpose void but unable to articulate what he is feeling, and simultaneously hearing in school and on the news that he has all the power and privilege and is the reason women were held back, he may withdraw into the video games and video porn that can distract him from his frustration and alienation. As he sees single moms by choice and single moms by divorce, and women who choose not to marry at all, he may intuitively sense he is living in an era of the multi-option woman and the no-option man but never be able to articulate it.
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An unemployed dad who isn’t prepared to be a fully involved dad means mom is having to row on both sides while dad rows on neither. The result? A family boat with three holes: first, neglected children; second, a dad with a purpose void; and third, a stressed and overwhelmed mom.
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A key measure of emotional intelligence is knowing that every virtue taken to its extreme becomes a vice.
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exercise helps build the muscle of a child’s brain even more effectively than studying.
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The discipline of postponing gratification is the single most important discipline your son needs.
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what ISIS recruits most have in common is that they are boys—and some girls—with absent dads.
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Some reports about ISIS find that it is less akin to a religion and more akin to a gang.20 Why? ISIS fills many of the parameters sought by boys without dads: purpose, excitement, and identity. For some, religion may represent but one more authority to distrust. But for others, religion offers a structure that strengthens their sense of purpose and mission. For these boys, the need for purpose, excitement, and identity are met more through ISIS’s requirements to sacrifice, serve, and represent a mission they feel has a higher morality than is represented by the “immorality” of the United ...more
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Many of the children recruited by Hitler Youth were fatherless boys.21 History Place reported that these boys, once recruited, were isolated in camps where weakness was despised.22 They were trained “without any counterbalancing influences from a normal home life . . . The youngest and most vulnerable boys were bullied, humiliated . . . including repeated sexual abuse.”23
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“When women marry, they hope to change the man; when men marry, they hope the woman will remain the same. Both are disappointed.”
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When my mother committed suicide at age forty-eight, although my sister and I were just starting our twenties, the closer my sister and I got to forty-eight, the more we feared that could also be our destiny.