Flat Broke with Two Goats

by Jennifer McGaha

Cajeta •1/2 gallon goat’s milk •2 cups sugar •1 cinnamon stick •1/2 teaspoon baking soda dissolved in 1 tablespoon water Mate a beautiful LaMancha doe with an adorably haggard Nigerian dwarf buck. Wait 150 days. Sit in a freezing cold, dark barn with a laboring doe for eight hours or longer. Become sick and numb with worry as the doe’s labor drags on and on. Make all sorts of pointless promises about how you will never put your doe through this again. When the babies do finally arrive safely, feel enormous gratitude. Take eight million photos, and send them to all of your friends, family, colleagues, and people who inexplicably remain in your cell phone contact list despite the fact that you have long since forgotten why they are there. Post more photos on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram. Insist that all nearby friends and family visit. Check on kids obsessively, even though their mother is actually their mother, and you are just a bystander. Then, when the kids are two weeks old, when they have gotten all the colostrum they need and are strong and active and thriving, separate them from their mother at night so you can begin morning milking. Once you have a half gallon of milk, bring the milk, sugar, and cinnamon stick to a simmer in a saucepan. Remove from heat, and stir in dissolved baking soda. Return to heat, and cook until thick and caramel colored, approximately one hour, stirring frequently. When mixture is the consistency of a thick caramel sauce, remove from h...