One Day in December

by Josie Silver

You know how some events turn out to be the big stepping stones between one part of your life and the next?

there’s a permanent cesspool of fear sloshing around in the base of my stomach.

I’m caught in the crosshairs, waiting for the bullet that may or may not come,

Oscar makes no secret of how into me he is. He has this intense way of looking at me that makes me feel the need to glance over my shoulder just to check if Jennifer Lawrence is lurking behind me.

Not everyone can make it, can they? Some do, and others settle for less.

‘I know I’ve asked you this a hundred times before, Laurie, but this time I’m not joking or laughing or messing around.’ His dark eyes are damp as he holds my hands. ‘I want to take you back there. But this time I want it to be with you as my wife. I don’t want to wait any longer. I love you and I want you with me for ever. Will you marry me?’ ‘Oscar …’ I’m reeling.

Please for God's sake stay with him

He’s a world away from cut-off jeans and T-shirt right now, but that’s what I see when I look at him. My Robinson Crusoe, my rescuer, my love.

It’s strange, but you never stop caring about someone, even if you don’t want to be with them any more. I think I’ll always love him a little.