It may be that when a relationship deteriorates into recriminations, it is simply that the chance for growth has been buried, “so as not to make trouble.” I have learned this year more than ever before about what Jung calls “letting in the darkness,” “the shadow.” The shadow is a tight passage, a narrow door, whose painful constriction no one is spared who goes down to the deep well. But one must learn to know oneself in order to know who one is. For what comes after the door is, surprisingly enough, a boundless expanse full of unprecedented uncertainty, with apparently no inside and no
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