More Than This (More Than, #1)

by Jay McLean

“Are you guys singing about penises? To Justin Bieber?”

Lucy looks up from her e-reader with a timid smile on her face. “Hi, Mikayla. It’s nice to meet you,” she says quietly then resumes her reading.

“yours is the only one I’ve ever seen, so I have absolutely nothing at all to compare it to. It could be tiny and I wouldn’t have a clue. Now, let me finish my book.”

“I’ve definitely found my new book boyfriend.” She mock swoons, holding her e-reader close to her heart.

“We should totally be book best friends.”

He’s not the hearts-and-flowers kind of guy—he’s the heart-and-soul kind, and fuck if every girl would rather have that than the flowers.

I think I do. Love her, I mean. I think I’m in love with this beautifully broken girl. I carry her upstairs to my bed, and that’s how I spend the night—with her crying in my arms.

“Why does he get to call you Kayla, and everyone else calls you Micky?” I shrug. “Because my family called me Kayla.”

It’s at this moment that I know. I don’t just think it anymore—I know it. I love this girl. I’m in love with this girl.

The sexual tension between Jake and me is off the charts. I’m scared I might actually combust at any second—no joke.

I blow out a huge breath I didn’t know I was holding.

Seriously—fuck my life. There’s only so much shit I can take before all the fucked-up things in my life consume me.

have to be around the person you love, and not be able to love them, is the hardest thing to do.

She laughs while I scream—a manly one, though. I’m not a fucking pussy.

“Because he’s fucking mine!” I growl. “And if I so much as see you look at him again, the next thing you’ll be gawking at is my fist coming toward your face! Got it?” “I swear to God, Micky,” Lucy snarls. Cam’s pretending to hold her back, amused by her drunken state. “I’ll cut a bitch for you. Just let me go, Cam. Let me go!” she yells, trying to fight his grip.

I’m going to be the luckiest asshole in the world when she finally lets me love her.

The love that’s so instant and intense and easy, it feels like all the world’s forces collided and fate gave you a push, and you’re there, in front of the person who’s now a part of you. The world spins and your heart explodes, and you want nothing else at all in the entire universe as long as you can be with that one person all the time. When you’re not, you think about him until your mind is consumed, and it’s almost like you’re suffocating and drowning . . . But in a good way, because your love is all around you.

And now I see the way she is with you, the way she looks at you, and that’s how it should have been. Like you’re the only one. You’re it, Jake—you’re all of it. Her forever.”

“I can’t give myself to him.” “What do you mean?” “I’m not who I want to be yet. I’m not ready to give him everything. I’m still broken, and I need to pick up the pieces of myself and put them back together. If I give myself to him, I have to be complete. I can’t be half the person I want to be.”

But maybe he’s it—maybe he’s the other half of you.”