More Than This (More Than, #1)

by Jay McLean

I mean, I get it—I noticed her the minute she walked through the door, smiling up at the kid whose hand she was holding.

“So. Your boyfriend’s an asshole, and your best friend’s a selfish whore,” he says, taking a seat next to me. I can’t help but laugh. “That pretty much covers it.” I sniff.

“Okay,” I cut in. “Huh?” “Okay,” I say again. I look into his deep blue eyes and he smiles—a panty-dropping smile that most girls would swoon over. Too bad I’m not most girls.

“I have the biggest dick you’ve ever seen, don’t I, babe?” Cam is almost shouting at her, trying to distract her. The car erupts in laughter, me included. Jake shakes his head next to me. “Yeah, babe. I heard exactly what you said, and I’d deny it if it weren’t true, but you’re right. It’s definitely the biggest I’ve ever seen,” Lucy says with a small smirk, her eyes never leaving the book. “Aw, I love you, babe. Best answer ever!” He gives her a shit-eating grin. “But babe,” Lucy says, eyes still on her book, “yours is the only one I’ve ever seen, so I have absolutely nothing at all to compare it to. It could be tiny and I wouldn’t have a clue. Now, let me finish my book.”

“Don’t you worry your pretty little face.” Logan runs his hand down my back, lower and lower, until he cups my ass. “Get your hands off me, before I get Dylan to break your arms!” I say it like a joke, but I’m serious.

“Not everyone’s a pig like you, Logan,” Heidi huffs as we settle back into the limo. “I can’t stand girls like that.” Jake shakes his head. “I mean, what if Mikayla were my girl, and we’re on a date?” He quickly looks at me then faces Heidi. “I’m not saying we are . . . But it’s obvious we were kind of together. I mean, we walked up to the register together.” He shrugs. “I don’t know. It just seems disrespectful to Mikayla if, you know, she were my girl.”

“Hey, Jake,” Casey says, inches away from us. “Who’s your little friend? I haven’t seen this one around before.” I flinch at her words and feel Mikayla tense next to me for a second. “Casey, this is Mikayla.” Mikayla laughs. “Baby, you don’t have to be so formal.” She reaches a hand out to Casey. “Jake calls me Kayla. Do you go to school here, Lacey?” “It’s Casey.” “Oh.” Mikayla nods, smiling at her.

“I’m thirsty, babe. Let’s get a drink then head to the hotel,” she says, loud enough for Casey to hear. On tiptoe, she whispers in my ear, “I’m not wearing any underwear.” I don’t know if Casey could hear that, but I know she can see my eyes widen in surprise. What she can’t see is my dick twitch at the thought. I’m such a guy. I look down at Mikayla, who smiles innocently up at me.

He brings my head to his lips and gives me one short, sweet kiss on my temple. It’s all I need to keep going and believe that everything will be okay.

Cam starts laughing. “Oh, I love it when she reads.” He turns to Lucy, whose face is turning a bright shade of red. “She reads these smutty books—like, full-on dirty sex and BDSM shit.”

Cam runs away from her faster. “The other week she even let me do her in the a—” Lucy squeals. We burst out laughing even harder. Her face is bright red now, and she’s given up trying to catch him. She stands defeated, and when Cam strolls over to her she slaps him hard across the face. We all quiet down and, still giggling, stare at them, waiting . . . Then Cam says, “Yeah, baby! You know I like it rough!” and throws her over his shoulder. They head into the bushes, Lucy laughing and pounding his back.

“To whoever wrote Fifty Shades of Grey.” Cam clasps his hands and looks skyward like he’s thanking the Lord. We laugh . . . and drink.

Logan eyes me. “What about you, Mikayla?” I think for a bit then smile. “To not letting bad people dictate whether you have a good time.”

“Who the fuck are you?” he spits, squaring his shoulders. “James, I swear to God, just go! I don’t want you here!” “Micky . . .” He tries to reach for her again. “I don’t think she wants you here, asshole,” I say between gritted teeth, my hands balling into fists. “Fuck you!” he shouts and lunges for her again. So I punch him. Right in the face. Like I should have the first time I saw him. He falls to the ground.

I know that I just met you tonight, but I truly do care about you, Kayla. If there’s anything you need or want, just tell me, okay? Promise me you’ll do that?” I nod, the lump in my throat preventing me from speaking. I fall asleep in Jake’s arms, sheltered from all the evil in the world.

Kayla’s lying in the middle of my bed in the fetal position, quietly crying. My heart breaks.

I sit on the love seat opposite them, and assume Kayla will be next to Lisa on the sofa. But she surprises me by sitting next to me and taking my hand. She presses close to me, almost climbing into my lap. She’s afraid. I adjust our positions so I can loop one arm around her waist and hold her hand with my free hand. She burrows even closer. I’m not blind to the confused stares we’re getting from the grown-ups, but I don’t care. If she needs me, I’ll be there for her.

“I know it’s strange, and I know it might just be circumstantial. We shared an experience that somehow makes us closer . . . But Aunt Lisa.” Kayla looks up from her lap. “Jake makes things hurt a little less. He’s home for me now. If being around him takes the pain away just a tiny bit, then it doesn’t matter how or why he’s here with me. I just . . . Oh, you can’t understand . . .”

I let go of her hand and bring her head to my lips, kissing her on her temple. She doesn’t seem to mind, so I’ll keep doing it until she tells me to stop.

He puts his arm around my shoulders and kisses the side of my head. I love it when he does that.

I feel something wet on the side of my face. I reach my hand up to touch it. Drool. I drooled—on him. My eyes go to his lap to see if there’s evidence. I instantly regret it. He’s got morning wood. I immediately look away but not before a tiny squeal escapes me.

I don’t know where Kayla’s decided she’s going to stay. I hope to God she doesn’t go to James’s house—not just because he’s an asshole, but because . . . It’s selfish, I know, but I honestly don’t want to be without her.

Lisa purses her lips. “I don’t want you traveling alone . . . I guess you’ll have to travel with Jake, then.” What? What an awesome frickin’ lady! Of course I have no choice but to go with her.

We sit on the swing together with a light blanket over our shoulders. I put my arm around her and she leans into me. Our legs entangled, we swing in silence.

“Shut up and quit being cute,” he says, flipping his cap backwards. He hugs me tight and kisses my temple, then makes his way into his room to get his gear bag out of the closet.

Kayla’s entire body convulses, and she falls to the floor. I scoop her up and sit down in the recliner, rocking her in my arms. I sweep the hair off her face as she cries into my chest.

Loved ones. I think I do. Love her, I mean. I think I’m in love with this beautifully broken girl. I carry her upstairs to my bed, and that’s how I spend the night—with her crying in my arms.

“Get out of here, Jake, before I make you crawl back under these covers and snuggle with me.” Her free arm points to the door. I make a strangled noise, because I’m certain there’s absolutely nothing else in the world I’d rather be doing.

I push away from the counter, throw my apple in the bin, and head to my room. I get under the covers with her and snuggle, just like she wanted. I don’t know how long we stay like that, but I know we both eventually fall asleep.

I wake up to her trying to get out of bed, but I hold on to her more tightly and nuzzle her neck. She laughs. It’s a small laugh, but it’s enough.

It’s at this moment that I know. I don’t just think it anymore—I know it. I love this girl. I’m in love with this girl.

I let it sink in then shake my head. “He really didn’t deserve you, you know that, right?” “I know.” She smiles. “I am an awesome girlfriend, and some asshole is going to be really lucky one day.” I swear to God I hope that asshole will be me.

“That’s wonderful! Your parents would be so happy.” She looks at Jake. “And this is your boyfriend?” “Oh, he’s not—” What is he? I look at him. He’s eyeing me, waiting for my response with a goofy expression on his face. I laugh a little and take his hand. “This is my Jake,” I say proudly.

“Kayla?” “Mmm?” I’m almost there. “If you keep staring at me like that, I’m going to have to ask you to take your shirt off so we’re even.”

“Hey, Jake?” “Yeah, Kayla?” He’s drifting off. “I more-than-a-lot like you.” He’s quiet for so long again that I don’t know if he heard me. Then he says, “I more-than-a-lot like you, too—so much more-than-a-lot.”

“Why should I be jealous?” I ask. He shrugs. “Because I’m your Jake,” he says, “and you’re my Kayla.” He smiles, fishing in his pocket for the piece of paper. Once we’re in the room, he throws it in the trash. He’s my Jake. And I’m his Kayla. I like it. I more-than-a-lot like it—so much more-than-a-lot.

I can see she’s holding back her own tears. “I just thought . . .” She has to stop to clear her throat and take a deep breath. She holds up a camera and motions around the room. “Maybe you might want a photo with—” “With my family?” I beam through my tears. “I definitely need one of those.” A sob breaks through her laugh as she holds up the camera, and I get a new family portrait to last a lifetime. “I’m thinking that I far from more-than-a-lot like you, Mikayla Jones,” Jake says, and the flash goes off.

I could easily climb out my window and jump the space between the two roofs. “My dad totally did this on purpose.” “Your dad is so my fave person over thirty-five.”

He stands up and walks to the bathroom, his hard-on tenting his pants. “Where are you going?” “To take a really cold shower, or take care of myself. I haven’t decided yet.” He walks backwards into the brand-new bathroom, built just for me, turns, and closes the door behind him. I go to my dresser and grab the baby oil. I enter the bathroom and notice his shocked face as I make the decision for him.

We look into each other’s eyes intently. Talking without speaking. Feeling without touching. “Jake?” “Yeah?” “It’s just you. It’s only ever been just you. It will always only ever be just you.”

God, he looks so frickin’ good, it should be illegal. He’s got those tired, sleepy eyes, and he’s blinking, trying to focus. When he finally does, his lips turn up at the corners and his voice is scratchy. “Hey, beautiful,” he says. And I swear to God I swoon.

To have to be around the person you love, and not be able to love them, is the hardest thing to do.

She says she still wants to move out—something about finding herself without me around. I keep my mouth shut, because I know it’s important to her, but I just don’t get it. I don’t understand why she wants to find herself without me there, when I plan on being a part of her life forever—when I love her so damn much, it hurts.

Then she has my shirt in her hands and pulls me in with her. She laughs while I scream—a manly one, though. I’m not a fucking pussy.

“God, Jake, I more-than-a-lot like you.” “Kayla, I passed that stage a long, long time ago.”

She’s laughing at me and pushes me away so I calm down a bit. But in my head, I’m a six-year-old kid who didn’t get the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle action figure I wanted, and I’m going to plead for it every hour until I get what I want. Because I’m a brat, and I need to see her naked.

You’re it, Jake—you’re all of it. Her forever.”

He looks at me—really looks at me. Then his lips are on mine, and I close my eyes because the sensation is so overpowering.

“Are you sure?” “I think I’m done with the past, Jake. I think I just want my future.” I look at him, and he gets it. He knows what I mean. I just want him.

I love Jake Andrews, my very own prince. I more-than-a-lot love him. And I can’t wait to tell our children our very own fairy tale and happily-ever-after.