Shatter Me (Shatter Me, #1)

by Tahereh Mafi

“I don’t like dresses.” “I don’t think you like seeing that, either,”

Adam will be punished for my mistakes. For my disobedience.

“But—you mean—you’ll come with me . . . ? You’d be willing to do that for me?” He smiles a small smile. His lips twitch like he’s trying not to laugh. “There’s very little I wouldn’t do for you.”

“A million times,” he says, his voice so quiet now. “I saw you do things like that a million times. But you never said a word unless it was forced out of you.” He laughs again, this time a hard, heavy sort of laugh. He’s staring at a point directly past my shoulder. “You never asked for anything from anyone.” He finally meets my eyes. “But no one ever gave you a chance.”

“You have no idea how much I’ve thought about you. How many times I’ve dreamt”—he takes a tight breath—“how many times I’ve dreamt about being this close to you.”

“God, Juliette, I’d follow you anywhere. You’re the only good thing left in this world.”

Adam kent... UGHHHHH

“He doesn’t even care about you!” Warner explodes. I flinch at the sudden, uncontrolled intensity in his voice. “He just wants a way out of here and he’s using you!” He steps forward. “I could love you, Juliette—I would treat you like a queen—”

“Only my dead body would allow her to walk out that door.” Warner exercises his jaw and spits blood on the floor. “You I would kill for pleasure,” he says to Adam. “But Juliette is the one I want forever.”

“Juliette!” His voice is tighter, higher, full of anger and confusion. “He can touch you?” Adam is wrapping his fist in the bedsheet. “Goddamn it, Juliette, answer me!” Warner is writhing on the floor, unhinged in a way I never thought possible. He looks wild, his eyes disbelieving, horrified. “Has he touched you?”

The possibility of losing him is 100 years of solitude I don’t want to imagine. I don’t want my arms to be devoid of his warmth. His touch. His lips, God his lips, his mouth on my neck, his body wrapped around mine, holding me together as if to affirm that my existence on this earth is not for nothing.

I want to touch the heart of the only person who ever gave a damn. “I love you,” I whisper. “So much more than you will ever know.”

“Kent is dead.”

“I want you to choose me,” he says. “I want you to choose to be with me. I want you to want this—”

“You’re only afraid of what you’re capable of.” His voice is soft. Easy. Slow. Deceptively persuasive. I’d never realized before just how attractive his voice is. “Admit it,” he says. “We’re perfect for each other. You want the power. You love the feel of a weapon in your hand. You’re . . . attracted to me.”

His lips come too close. “But I love you.” “No you don’t.” His eyes close. He leans his forehead against mine. “You have no idea what you do to me.” “I hate you.”

“I’ll be good to you,” he whispers. “I’ll be so good to you, Juliette. I promise.”

He breaks the kiss. Whispers something in my ear that sounds like nonsense. Cups my face in his hands and this time I remember to pretend. I pull him closer, grab a fistful of his jacket and kiss him as hard as I can, my fingers already attempting to release the first of his buttons. Warner tastes like peppermint, smells like gardenias. His arms are strong around me, his lips soft, almost sweet against my skin. There’s an electric charge between us I hadn’t anticipated.

“You’re going to get better,” I promise him. “And when you do, I’m going to show you exactly what choice I’ve made. I’m going to memorize every inch of your body with my lips.”

“I mean it wasn’t an accident that I ended up in the army, Juliette.” He sighs. “It wasn’t an accident that I showed up at Adam’s door. And I wasn’t supposed to get shot or get beaten half to death, but I did. Only I wasn’t dropped off by some random dude.” He almost grins. “I’ve always known where Adam lived. It was my job to know.” A pause. “We’ve all been looking for you.