I hope this reaches her in time

by R.H. Sin

the feeling of loneliness while lying next to the one who promised to love you but never kept their word waiting for change afraid to accept that it won’t get better

all you’ve felt is defeat

you were the emptiness i felt you were darkness consuming me you were the thing keeping me from happiness

i needed to find myself but you were keeping me from me the years i spent losing myself while trying to keep you

you deserve so much more than what you’ve been given you owe it to yourself to give yourself the love that you’ve misplaced in others

i was killing me to give us life i was drowning to save the person who kept pushing my head under water

your absence taught me how to be my own lover

foolish of me to believe that a dysfunctional family could function in a way that made me feel loved

you keep saying you want real love and yet you’ve chosen to entertain the same person who will never love you

i wish your desire to be happy somehow outweighed your tolerance for the heartache they’ve caused you

your father the first man you knew the first man you’d love one half of the reason why you grew up so hard so young and yet your heart began to ache breaking into a million pieces as you alone would learn to pick yourself up your father the first man to disappoint you the first man to let you down the first man to cause you to lower your expectations he loved you, yes but i guess not enough to protect you while you loved him enough

Oh how this hits home

to look past his failures you’d go on to accept his half ass efforts to love you you’d go on to accept men and their half ass efforts to love you

I remember when I bread this. How things made sense, how i was able to connect the dots

your father only present just enough for you to feel like you mattered your lovers only present enough to fool you into thinking they cared i used to wonder to myself how could you ever love a man who barely made an effort but then i witnessed your father as he barely tried and with tears in your eyes you ...

the heartache will teach you then peace will fill you

Love this

you have fallen for a heart incapable of loving you the way you need

because you live in the midnights where i feel hopeless filled with despair you live in the night the darkness, the restlessness the air of uncertainty

look for me like eyes struggling through darkness reach for me like lungs struggling for air