Everybody, Always: Becoming Love in a World Full of Setbacks and Difficult People

by Bob Goff

Yet, the incredible message Love came to earth to give was that we’re all tied for first in God’s mind. While we’re still trying to get our arms around this idea, God doesn’t want us to just study Him like He’s an academic project. He wants us to become love.

Jesus talked to His friends a lot about how we should identify ourselves. He said it wouldn’t be what we said we believed or all the good we hoped to do someday. Nope, He said we would identify ourselves simply by how we loved people. It’s tempting to think there is more to it, but there’s not. Love isn’t something we fall into; love is someone we become.

God’s idea isn’t that we would just give and receive love but that we could actually become love. People who are becoming love see the beauty in others even when their off-putting behavior makes for a pretty weird mask.

There’s a difference between good judgment and living in judgment. The trick is to use lots of the first and to go a little lighter on the second.

What I’m learning about love is that we have to tackle a good amount of fear to love people who are difficult.

Burning down others’ opinions doesn’t make us right. It makes us arsonists.

Those who are becoming love don’t throw people off roofs; they lower people through them instead.

What I’ve come to realize is if I really want to “meet Jesus,” then I have to get a lot closer to the people He created. All of them, not just some of them.

I’ve concluded we can be correct and not right. Know what I mean? I do this most often when I have the right words and the wrong heart.

Arguments won’t change people. Simply giving away kindness won’t either. Only Jesus has the power to change people, and it will be harder for them to see Jesus if their view of Him is blocked by our big opinions.

Jesus wrapped up this concept in three simple and seemingly impossible ideas for us to follow: love Him, love your neighbor, and love your enemies.

Loving each other is what we were meant to do and how we were made to roll. It’s not where we start when we begin following Jesus; it’s the beautiful path we travel the rest of our lives.

This lawyer asked Jesus what the greatest commandment was. I think he was looking for a plan, but Jesus told him about his purpose instead. He said it was to love God with all his heart and soul and mind. Then in the next breath, Jesus gave the lawyer some unsolicited but practical advice. Jesus told him he should love his neighbors just like he loved himself. Sometimes we see these as two separate ideas, but Jesus saw loving God and loving our neighbors as one inseparable mandate. They were tied for first in Jesus’ mind. I think Jesus said these things because He knew we couldn’t love God if we don’t love the people He surrounds us with.

What often keeps us from loving our neighbors is fear of what will happen if we do. Frankly, what scares me more is thinking about what will happen if we don’t.

we can’t love people we don’t know.

When joy is a habit, love is a reflex.

Instead of telling people what they want, we need to tell them who they are. This works every time. We’ll become in our lives whoever the people we love the most say we are.

Tell the people you meet who they’re becoming, and trust that God will help people will find their way toward beautiful things in their lives without you.

shame makes us silent. It strips us of the few words we might have. It mutes our life and our love. It’s the pickpocket of our confidence.

Find your way back to the people you’ve loved and who have loved you. Figure out who you’ve broken your rhythm with. Don’t let the misunderstanding decide your future. If you lost your way with God, let Him close the distance between you and start the celebration again. We’re all in the same truck when it comes to our need for love and acceptance and forgiveness.

We need every type of prayer I suppose, but I don’t think we need to sound like each other. God isn’t wowed by fancy words; He delights in humble hearts.

What part are you going to play in building the kind of kingdom Jesus said would outlast us all?

People who are becoming love are with those who are hurting and help them get home. I’ve always thought that people who didn’t want to be with people here are going to hate heaven. Truly, it will be everybody, always there.

Jesus told His friends that letting people see the way we love each other would be the best way to let people know about Him. It wouldn’t be because we’d given them a lot of directions or instructions or because they memorized or studied all the right things. It would be because someone met you or me and felt as if they’d just met Jesus. I think what He meant was He wanted someone to meet a person who loved Him and then feel like they had just met heaven— everyone there.

Loving people means caring without an agenda. As soon as we have an agenda, it’s not love anymore. It’s acting like you care to get someone to do what you want or what you think God wants them to do. Do less of that, and people will see a lot less of you and more of Jesus.

People who are becoming love stop faking it about who they are and where they are in their lives and their faith.

Trade the appearance of being close to God for the power of actually being close to God.

We can either keep track of all the good we’ve done or all the good God’s done.

Whether we want to or not, we end up memorizing what we do repeatedly. It’s the way we were wired from the factory. Because this is how we’re made, it’s a great idea to pick actions worth repeating.

If our life and our identity are found in Jesus, I think we can redefine safe as staying close to Him. Don’t get me wrong. Playing it safe and waiting for assurances in our lives isn’t necessarily bad; it just isn’t faith anymore.

People who are becoming love understand God guides us into uncomfortable places because He knows most of us are too afraid to seek them out ourselves.

For some people, it’s easier to make plans than to make time. If this is you, here’s how to fix it: make love your plan. There’s less to write down that way.

We want God to tell us all the details, but all we usually get is a promise that we’ll see more of Him if we look in the right places.

We’ll see what we spend the most time looking for.

people who are becoming love try impossible things because they’ve surrounded themselves with voices they can trust.

We’re all a little blind and have a tendency to wander. Sometimes we know what caused us to stop running in a straight line, and other times we don’t. We crash and burn and usually don’t know what happened. It’s what happens next that will tell a lot about who we’re becoming.

God doesn’t like us more when we succeed or less when we fail. He delights in our attempts.

To figure out where we are we need to understand who we are.

Yet when what our faith looks like becomes more important than what it is, it’s evidence we’ve forgotten who we really are. God constantly allows things to happen in our lives that help us understand where we are with Him and who we really are in the context of our circumstances.

Jesus probably wants us to show people who He is by what we do, not just tell them what we think. I’ve been asking God to help me figure out who I really am and who He really is. Here’s the thing: Jesus is the only one who can let us know the truth about ourselves and the truth about who He is. Most of us have all the knowledge we need. People don’t need information; they want examples. God wants to use people like us to show the world what we know about Jesus by having them see the way we love the people around us. Particularly the difficult ones.

When Jesus invaded history, it’s as if He stood at the front of a long line of people—everyone who has ever lived or will live. He asked all of us if we knew who we were, and He asked us who we thought He was.

Some of us say He’s God and we’re following Him, but then we live like our ego is calling all the shots. The beautiful message of Jesus is His invitation to everyone that they can trade in who they used to be for who God sees them becoming.

Before you decide why things have happened in your past or are happening now, wait for God to whisper the reasons to you. It will be worth the wait.

the middle of the field stood a gigantic, colorful hot-air balloon

knows he’s neither defined nor limited by his circumstances. He sees power in his brokenness and opportunities

God isn’t always leading us to the safest route forward but to the one where we’ll grow the most.

What a shame it would be if we were waiting for God to say something while He’s been waiting on us to do something. He speaks to me the loudest on the way. Simply put, if we want more faith, we need to do more stuff.

His biggest priority isn’t removing failure as an option but reminding me He loves me as I try. There’s a verse in the Bible that says, “Do not despise these small beginnings.” I love that. It’s a reminder to me God doesn’t just value the big endeavors that work and He isn’t afraid we’ll fail; instead, He delights in our attempts.

Jesus doesn’t need our help with the hungry or thirsty or sick or strange or naked or people in jails. I know this, because I asked Him. He wants our hearts. He lets us participate, if we’re willing, so we’ll learn more about how He feels about us and how He feels about the people we may have been avoiding.

I think a better question to ask is, How is your life working for the people around you? Because if our lives aren’t working for the people around us, our lives aren’t working for us.