The Good Samaritan

by John Marrs

In fact, it’s a kind of sub-world that you believe only you inhabit. You aren’t alone, of course, because those you’re close to share your pain. But it’s not really their pain, is it? It’s yours. And it’s a million times worse for you than it is for anyone else. Sometimes I thought that if I stretched out my arm, I could physically touch it.

If it was cancer or a heart condition that had killed Charlotte, people might have related to me better, because many people have lost someone to one of those illnesses. But when it’s an invisible problem like mental health or suicide, people aren’t sure how to talk about it. They’d rather say nothing than end up saying something insensitive, stupid or becoming tongue-tied.

Only now, by following in Charlotte’s footsteps, could I understand that she wasn’t being selfish in taking her own life. No suicidal person is. Like I was now, she truly believed in her heart of hearts that sometimes it is all there is left to do.