Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

by Christopher Moore

Love is not something you think about, it is a state in which you dwell.

“I got the feeling she likes me. I think maybe she’ll do me pro bono, if you know what I mean?” I elbowed him in the ribs and winked. “You mean for the public good. You forget your Latin? ‘Pro bono’ means ‘for the public good.’” “Oh. I thought it meant something else. She’s not going to do me for that.” “No, probably not,” said Josh.

“Waste of a perfectly good adulteress, if you ask me.”

Buddhism didn’t make it into China for almost five hundred years after Christ’s death. The martial arts would not be developed by Buddhist monks until after that, but to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, “What if Jesus had known kung fu?”

This is how this book works.