Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

by Christopher Moore

I thought about the old magus as I looked at the wall stretching over the hills, then at the line of travelers ahead of us. A small city had grown up at the entrance to the wall to accommodate the needs of the delayed travelers along the Silk Road and it boiled with merchants hawking food and drink along the line. “Screw it,” I said. “This is going to take forever. How long can it be? Let’s go around.” A month later, when we had returned to the same gate and we were standing in line to get through, Joshua asked: “So what do you think of the wall now? I mean, now that we’ve seen so much more of it?” “I think it’s ostentatious and unpleasant,” I said. “If they don’t have a name for it, you should suggest that.” And so it came to pass that through the ages the wall was known as the Ostentatious and Unpleasant Wall of China. At least I hope that’s what happened. It’s not on my Friendly Flyer Miles map, so I can’t be sure.