The Upside of Unrequited

by Becky Albertalli

Here’s the truth: I want this so badly. To the point where it’s almost physically painful sometimes.

Which pisses me off. Are there really people who just aren’t the sex type? I mean, obviously there are asexual people, but that’s different.

But when you’re that pretty, you can date anyone, and people know you picked the geek on purpose. Like, you could have had the hot guy, but you didn’t want him. But when you’re a fat geek who likes another fat geek, everyone assumes you’re settling. I feel a little sick. I can’t explain it.

He’s pretty good with emojis.

I mean, how does a person explain YouTube to her seventy-year-old grandmother?

I hate that I’m even thinking that. I hate hating my body. Actually, I don’t even hate my body. I just worry everyone else might. Because chubby girls don’t get boyfriends, and they definitely don’t have sex. Not in movies—not really—unless it’s supposed to be a joke. And I don’t want to be a joke.

it fits me in exactly the right way. It doesn’t make me look skinny. I think it makes me look fat on purpose.