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I will come back to life no matter how long it takes, and I won’t be a bitter, angry woman.
“You can feel your emotions without acting on them,” Dr. Feld had said. “If you bottle up anger, eventually it explodes. It’s called an emotion because it’s meant to move. Just breathe and let it.”
Friends or relatives of Mr. and Mrs. Duck might be coasting across the sky, feeling the warmth of the sun, enjoying a lift on a thermal when . . . Boom! Someone playing God would decide to end a life.
“You know, they had a tornado in Catskill last month. The oil companies want us to think it’s a ‘natural cycle.’ Bullshit. The earth is a living thing, like an animal or a person. When it’s threatened, or attacked, it fights back.” He folded his powerful arms across his chest and glared straight ahead. “To the death, if it has to.”
His brown eyes blazed at me as he spoke. “You think it was easy for me to let it happen last night? To open myself up? You think I didn’t want to run? I did. But I said, you can’t let this one go because you’re scared of losing someone again. This one’s special.” “Ben, I—”
“It took me hours to work up the guts to come over here to talk. To tell you I reject your ‘Dear Ben’ note. I’m not going to knock down the castle door again to reach you, Nora. I’m not going to plant the magic kiss that wakes you up. You’ve got to meet me halfway, for real, or . . .”
I didn’t want to hear the rest of that sentence. I didn’t want to lose him. “Shhh,” I said, putting my swollen finger to his lips. And then I kissed him ...
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But what do they say luck is? “When opportunity meets readiness.” I feared that he was an opportunity I might miss.
Ben reached out and touched my cheek. “You’re supposed to trust the person you’re in a relationship with. That’s the whole point.” Of course it was. So simple. So true. “Loving someone is a risk,” he said. “A leap of faith you have to take if you go all-in.” I knew he was right, but could I let myself jump? I wanted so much to be brave. Ben wiped a tear off my cheek.
