The Joy Of Imperfection: 18 Simple Steps to Silencing Your Inner Critic, Overcoming Perfectionism, and Embracing Your Imperfect Life! (Self-Help Books for Busy People Book 2)

by Damon Zahariades

Adaptive perfectionists are driven by the satisfaction they experience when they apply extreme effort toward accomplishing their goals.

This category of perfectionism is defined as striving to meet unrealistic goals, and expecting to accomplish them every time. Maladaptive perfectionists aggressively maintain unreasonably high standards, and are highly critical of themselves when they fail to meet them.

The maladaptive perfectionist mistakenly believes he can exert full control over his environment. Ergo, he believes himself to be entirely at fault for unfavorable outcomes.

All of them stem from fear, anxiety, unhappiness, and/or an unfair conviction regarding how one’s worth should be measured.

Another trigger is shame. Many perfectionists feel inadequate in one or more ways. They believe they’re not athletic enough, pretty enough, smart enough, rich enough, motivated enough, or dedicated enough.

The pursuit of flawlessness is rooted in a desire for acceptance.

There’s a dark side to this inclination. When you constantly strive to be perfect, you train your brain to accept nothing less. Consequently, your brain avoids taking any action that might lead to mistakes. In many cases, this means avoiding taking any action at all (i.e. procrastination).

Non-perfectionists recognize that mistakes are par for the course. They realize the important thing is to make progress toward their goals. They value incremental progress more than perfect progress.

Although we tend to think of perfectionism as the pursuit of flawlessness, it’s actually spurred by fear of failure.

In short, risk is a prerequisite for fully enjoying life’s rich abundance.

“That was a stupid mistake.” “You should have been better prepared.” “[Tom or Elaine] would have done a much better job.” “People aren’t going to like you.” “You failed again.”

Once you give yourself permission to be less than perfect, you’ll become more willing to be wrong and make mistakes. You’ll see such circumstances as learning opportunities rather than personal failures.