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I was just living with the circumstances that I happened to be born into.
The Korean character has always been deeply colored by Confucian ideals, and that tradition was passed on to the Zainichi community. Roughly put, Confucianism was about respecting your elders. In our household, that basically translated to “the wife and child are forbidden to oppose the head of the house.”
“I was hoping you’d get diabetes.”
I didn’t believe in the power of the novel. A novel could entertain but couldn’t change anything. You open the book, you close it, and it’s over.
“A lone person devoted to reading novels has the power equal to a hundred people gathered at a meeting.” Then he’d continue, saying, “The world would be a better place with more people like that,” and smile good-naturedly.
“Better that than a womanizer with a saint complex.”
“But we live in circumstances that can’t always be explained away by logic. You’ll understand someday.”
“If you’re depressed, I hope you’ll talk to me about it.”
It was the last sentiment of Confucian spirit my mother still had inside her. But no way was I going to back down now. No matter what.