More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
Read between
April 7 - May 4, 2023
YOUTH: I want to ask you once again; you do believe that the world is, in all ways, a simple place? PHILOSOPHER: Yes, this world is astonishingly simple and life itself is, too.
Danilo Cattani liked this
I suppose it’s only natural you haven’t heard of Adler. As he himself said, ‘There might come a time when one will not remember my name; people might even have forgotten that our school ever existed.’ Then he went on to say that it didn’t matter. The implication being that if his school were forgotten, it would be because his ideas had outgrown the bounds of a single area of scholarship, and become commonplace, and a feeling shared by everyone.
PHILOSOPHER: Think about it this way. Your friend had the goal of not going out beforehand, and he’s been manufacturing a state of anxiety and fear as a means to achieve that goal. In Adlerian psychology, this is called ‘teleology’. YOUTH: You’re joking! My friend has imagined his anxiety and fear? So, would you go so far as saying that my friend is just pretending to be sick? PHILOSOPHER: He is not pretending to be sick. The anxiety and fear your friend is feeling are real. On occasion, he might also suffer from migraines and violent stomach cramps. However, these too are symptoms that he has
...more
CBT flashbacks
PHILOSOPHER: I am not denying that emotion exists. Everyone has emotions. That goes without saying. But if you are going to tell me that people are beings who can’t resist emotion, I’d argue against that. Adlerian psychology is a form of thought, a philosophy that is diametrically opposed to nihilism. We are not controlled by emotion. In this sense, while it shows that ‘people are not controlled by emotion’, additionally it shows that ‘we are not controlled by the past’.
‘People are not driven by past causes, but move toward goals that they themselves set’—that
Uncomfy
PHILOSOPHER: People are constantly selecting their lifestyles. Right now, while we are having this tête-a-tête, we are selecting ours. You describe yourself as an unhappy person. You say that you want to change right this minute. You even claim that you want to be reborn as a different person. After all that then, why are you still unable to change? It is because you are making the persistent decision not to change your lifestyle.
:(
PHILOSOPHER: Oh, but being alone isn’t what makes you feel lonely. Loneliness is having other people and society and community around you, and having a deep sense of being excluded from them. To feel lonely, we need other people. That is to say, it is only in social contexts that a person becomes an ‘individual’.
PHILOSOPHER: You were so afraid of interpersonal relationships that you came to dislike yourself. You’ve avoided interpersonal relationships by disliking yourself.
Me
Now, remember the German word for a feeling of inferiority, Minderwertigkeitsgefühl.
Elegant
It is a pattern leading to a particular feeling of superiority that manifests due to the feeling of inferiority itself becoming intensified. Concretely speaking, it’s bragging about one’s own misfortune.
You start to think that people are always looking down on you and treating you with scorn; that they’re all enemies who must never be underestimated, who lie in wait for any opening and attack at the drop of a hat. In short, that the world is a terrifying place.
Me
I always think that I’m being watched by others, that I’m being subjected to harsh judgement, and that I’m going to be attacked. And it’s probably true that this is a self-conscious reaction, just like the mirror-obsessed teenager. The people of the world aren’t paying attention to me. Even if I were to go walking on my hands down the street, they’d take no notice! But, I don’t know. Are you saying, after all, that my feeling of inferiority is something that I chose; that has some sort of goal? That just doesn’t make any sense to me.
There are the following two objectives for behaviour: to be self-reliant and to live in harmony with society.
Are you saying that they don’t try to work simply because they want to avoid the interpersonal relationships that are associated with work, not that they don’t want to work or that they’re refusing to do manual labour?
Yes……
The dialogue going on here is not counselling, and we do not have a work relationship. To me, you are an irreplaceable friend. Don’t you think so?
Stop I’m blushing??????
a line from a novel by Dostoevsky: ‘Money is coined freedom.’ What do you think? Isn’t ‘coined freedom’ a rather refreshing term? But seriously, I was fascinated to find this one line that drove right to the heart of this thing called money.
By who
If no one is going to praise me, I won’t take appropriate action and If no one is going to punish me, I’ll engage in inappropriate actions, too. You already have the goal of wanting to be praised when you start picking up litter. And if you aren’t praised by anyone, you’ll either be indignant, or decide that you’ll never do such a thing again. Clearly, there’s something wrong with this situation.
Look, we are not living to satisfy other people’s expectations.
Oh. Yeah
However, no matter how much of the burden of the child’s task one carries, the child is still an independent individual. Children do not become what their parents want them to become.
Separating one’s tasks is not an egocentric thing. Intervening in other people’s tasks is essentially an egocentric way of thinking, however. Parents force their children to study; they meddle in their life and marriage choices. That is nothing other than an egocentric way of thinking.
‘Not wanting to be disliked’ is probably my task, but whether or not so-and-so dislikes me is the other person’s task. Even if there is a person who doesn’t think well of me, I cannot intervene in that. To borrow from the proverb I mentioned earlier, naturally one would make the effort to lead a horse to water. But whether he drinks or not is that person’s task.
there is a larger world that extends far beyond the confines of the school. And every one of us is a member of that world. If there is no place of refuge in your school, you should find a different refuge outside the walls of the school.
One must not praise, and one must not rebuke.
the mother who praises the child by saying things like ‘You’re such a good helper!’ or ‘Good job!’ or ‘Well, aren’t you something!’ is unconsciously creating a hierarchical relationship and seeing the child as beneath her.
Whether we praise or rebuke others, the only difference is one of the carrot or the stick, and the background goal is manipulation.
The more one is praised by another person, the more one forms the belief that one has no ability.
‘It is only when a person is able to feel that he has worth that he can possess courage.’
If you do not have the desire to make your relationship with that person better, then go ahead and sever it. Because carrying out the severing is your task.
If life were a line, then life planning would be possible. But our lives are only a series of dots. A well-planned life is not something to be treated as necessary or unnecessary, as it is impossible.
