The Courage to Be Disliked: How to Free Yourself, Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness

by Ichiro Kishimi

First, one accepts one’s irreplaceable ‘this me’ just as it is. That is self-acceptance. Then, one places unconditional confidence in other people. That is confidence in others. You can accept yourself, and you can have confidence in others. So, what are other people to you now? YOUTH: … My comrades? PHILOSOPHER: Exactly. In effect, placing confidence in others is connected to seeing others as comrades. It is because they are one’s comrades that one can have confidence in them. If they were not one’s comrades, one would not be able to reach the level of confidence. And then, having other people as one’s comrades connects to finding refuge in the community one belongs to. So, one can gain the sense of belonging that ‘it’s okay to be here’. YOUTH: In other words, you’re saying that to feel ‘it’s okay to be here’ one has to see others as comrades. And that to see others as comrades, one needs both self-acceptance and confidence in others.