The Courage to Be Disliked: How to Free Yourself, Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness

by Ichiro Kishimi

Well, maybe in theory, anyway. But it’s hard to break out. The decision to withdraw from school itself isn’t something to be taken lightly. PHILOSOPHER: I am sure you are right—it would not be easy. Therefore, there is a principle of action that I would like you to commit to memory. When we run into difficulties in our interpersonal relations, or when we can no longer see a way out, what we should consider first and foremost is the principle that says ‘listen to the voice of the larger community’. YOUTH: The voice of the larger community? PHILOSOPHER: If it is a school, one does not judge things with the commonsense of the community that is the school, but instead follows the commonsense of a larger community. Now, let’s say it’s your school, and your teacher has been behaving in an authoritarian manner. But the power or authority your teacher wields is nothing more than an aspect of the commonsense that operates only within the small community that is the school. From the standpoint of the community that is ‘human society’, both you and your teacher are equal humans. If unreasonable demands are being thrust on you, it is fine to object to them directly. YOUTH: But, it will be very difficult to object when the teacher is right in front of me. PHILOSOPHER: Not at all. Though this might be termed a ‘you and I’ relationship, if it is one that can break down just because you raise an objection, then it is not the sort of relationship you need to get into in the first place. It...