The Courage to Be Disliked: How to Free Yourself, Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness
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We are not determined by our experiences, but the meaning we give them is self-determining.’
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Your life is not something that someone gives you, but something you choose yourself, and you are the one who decides how you live.
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you are unhappy now because you yourself chose ‘being unhappy’.
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But please understand that what you are feeling is not an objective inferiority, but a subjective feeling of inferiority.
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Anger as an expression of a personal grudge is nothing but a tool for making others submit to you.
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no matter how much you might think you are right, try not to criticise the other party on that basis.
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If the person seems to be happy, one can frankly celebrate that condition. That is love. Relationships in which people restrict each other eventually fall apart.
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‘If two people want to live together on good terms, they must treat each other as equal personalities.’
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No matter how distressful the relationship, you must not avoid or put off dealing with it.
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Being recognised by others is certainly something to be happy about. But it would be wrong to say that being recognised is absolutely necessary.
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You believe in your partner; that is your task.
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first, learn the boundary of ‘from here on, that is not my task’.
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It isn’t your job to be liked by people at the place you work.
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do not intervene in other people’s tasks, or allow even a single person to intervene in one’s own tasks.
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When one is tied to the desire for recognition, the interpersonal relationship cards will always stay in the hands of other people.
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‘Someone has to start. Other people might not be cooperative, but that is not connected to you. My advice is this: you should start. With no regard to whether others are cooperative or not.’