Just as I think I’ve escaped unnoticed, the cafeteria lady mispronounces my name and slams a bright orange tray down upon the metal shelf. On said tray is a soggy paper plate piled with microwaved spaghetti to be eaten with—get this—a plastic spoon. Have you ever tried eating spaghetti with a plastic spoon? If you weren’t crazy before, you will be after that.
