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Her words pricked some painful underbelly of knowing in my own body. My entire being rang in resonance. I was transported to all the times I had given away my own body in penance. A reel of memories scrolled through my mind of all the ways I told the world I was sorry for having this wrong, bad body.
There are times when our unflinching honesty, vulnerability, and empathy will create a transformative portal, an opening to a completely new way of living.
Natural intelligence intends that every living thing become the highest form of itself and designs us accordingly.”2
Natural intelligence imbues us with all we need at this exact moment to manifest the highest form of ourselves, and we don’t have to figure out how to get it.
Famed activist and professor Angela Davis said, “I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept.”1
This blows my mind! So powerful.
We did not start life in a negative partnership with our bodies. I have never seen a toddler lament the size of their thighs, the squishiness of their bellies. Children do not arrive here ashamed of their race, gender, age, or disabilities. Babies love their bodies!
Transgender people are currently fighting across the United States to retain the legal right to use the bathroom that matches their gender identity.13
Our relationships with our own bodies inform our relationships with others.
Living in a female body, a Black body, an aging body, a fat body, a body with mental illness is to awaken daily to a planet that expects a certain set of apologies to already live on our tongues.
The voice of doubt, shame, and guilt blaring in our heads is not our voice. It is a voice we have been given by a society steeped in shame. It is the “outside voice.” Our authentic voice, our “inside voice,” is the voice of radical self-love!
We are not less valuable, worthy, or loveable because we are not healthy.
When we strip away the veneer of self-reliance and individualism and allow ourselves access to our most vulnerable truths, we can’t help but be heartbeat present to the fact that our relationship with other bodies mirrors in tangible ways our relationship with our own body.
Our lens to the outside world is an interior lens projecting our experience in our bodies onto our external landscape. A shame-clouded interior lens can only project shame and judgment.
implicit bias. The term refers to the “attitudes or stereotypes that affect our understanding, actions, and decisions in an unconscious manner.”
Systems do not maintain themselves; even our lack of intervention is an act of maintenance. Every structure in every society is upheld by the active and passive assistance of other human beings.
Boggs tells us that the only sustainable foundation for a changed world is internal transformation.
(making unsolicited comments about a person’s health based on their physical appearance).
You, my love, are not disposable.
we can be intentional about the media we ingest, and we certainly do not have to give our hard-fought dollars to industries that profit from self-hate and body terrorism.
Radical self-love does not call on us to be less of ourselves. Radical self-love summons us to be our most expansive selves, knowing that the more unflinchingly powerful we allow ourselves to be, the more unflinchingly powerful others feel capable of being.
Feeling crappy when we’re sick is not a sign of a body that is mutinying; it’s the unfortunate byproduct of a body working exponentially hard to return us to wellness. Our body is fighting on our behalf even as we curse it as though it were a cheating lover.
Meditation calls on us to be present in the immediate moment, the right now.
Here are a few mantras you may want to try: • I love my body. • I am a vessel of radical self-love. • My body is my ally. • I have the body I need to live my best life. Practice meditating five minutes a day for thirty days and see what happens.
Honor that you will be many things throughout the course of your life. Sometimes you will be a phenomenal gift; sometimes you will get on someone’s damn nerves. There is gorgeous potential and heinous instinct in us all.
When we build intimacy with our bodies through the process of exploration, we are learning the topography of our flesh. What colors, shades, and textures make up our landscape? As we do in our meditation process, we allow ourselves simply to notice what is present with our bodies. Exploration gives us a baseline understanding of how our bodies look and feel.
Get intimate with your body and it will teach you and others how to love it.
Ecstasy is not a naughty word. Our bodies are designed for pleasure, and we should never feel ashamed about enjoying them.
Somehow, we’ve come to equate success with not needing anyone. Many of us are willing to extend a helping hand, but we’re very reluctant to reach out for help when we need it ourselves.
It is critical that we find communities of care and compassion.
The act of giving yourself some grace is the practice of loving the you that does not like your body.
