In Shock: How Nearly Dying Made Me a Better Intensive Care Doctor

by Dr Rana Awdish

If empathy is the ability to take the perspective of another and feel with them, then, at its best, the practice of medicine is a focused, scientific form of empathy.

That ability to translate symptoms into diagnoses and treatments, the power to save lives through knowledge and listening, struck me as the most beautiful job description I could imagine.

We pass through with gritted teeth, as if it were a storm, with no regard for the illuminating beauty of the lightning as it strikes. But those shattering moments that break our bodies also allow us access to wisdom that is normally hidden, except in times of utter darkness.

And even then, once I recognized them as an opportunity to connect, I still didn’t believe in the healing power of just being present to bear witness to someone’s struggle. I didn’t value the intangible, the moments of shared understanding.

Our hospital valued policies. It was in large part how we ensured the safety of our patients. Reliably providing excel lent care required standardization.

We aren’t trained to see our patients. We are trained to see pathology.