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December 9 - December 24, 2020
You’re probably not getting very effective coaching; and you’re probably not delivering very effective coaching.
The first reason is that the coaching training you got was probably overly theoretical, too complicated, a little boring and divorced from the reality of your busy work life.
reason number two—you likely didn’t spend much time figuring out how to translate the new insights into action so you’d do things differently.
third reason is that the seemingly simple behaviour change of giving a little less advice and asking a few more questions is surprisingly difficult. You’ve spent years delivering advice and getting promoted and praised for it.
Circle #1: Creating Overdependence
Circle #2: Getting Overwhelmed
Circle #3: Becoming Disconnected
WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF AS THE MOMENT OF DISCOVERY IS REALLY THE DISCOVERY OF THE QUESTION. Jonas Salk
The Seven Essential Questions
The Kickstart Question is the way to start any conversation in a way that’s both focused and open. The AWE Question—the best coaching question in the world—works as a self-management tool for you, and as a boost for the other six questions here. The Focus Question and the Foundation Question are about getting to the heart of the challenge, so you’ve got your attention on what really matters. The Lazy Question will save you hours, while the Strategic Question will save hours for those you’re working with. And the Learning Question, which pairs with the Kickstart Question to make the Coaching
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To build an effective new habit, you need five essential components: a reason, a trigger, a micro-habit, effective practice, and a plan.
think less about what your habit can do for you, and more about how this new habit will help a person or people you care about.
B.J. Fogg’s work at tinyhabits.com suggests that you should define your new habit as a micro-habit that needs to take less than sixty seconds to complete.
Resilient systems build in fail-safes so that when something breaks down, the next step to recover is obvious. Make your habit a resilient system.
There are three parts to the formula: identifying the trigger, identifying the old habit and defining the new behaviour. Here’s how it works.
Charles Duhigg says that there are just five types of triggers: location, time, emotional state, other people, and the immediately preceding action. You can see how you might use a number of them to define a very specific trigger.
The Kickstart Question: “What’s on Your Mind?” An almost fail-safe way to start a chat that quickly turns into a real conversation is the question, “What’s on your mind?”
Coaching for performance is about addressing and fixing a specific problem or challenge. It’s putting out the fire or building up the fire or banking the fire. It’s everyday stuff, and it’s important and necessary. Coaching for development is about turning the focus from the issue to the person dealing with the issue, the person who’s managing the fire.
A challenge might typically be centred on a project, a person or a pattern of behaviour.
When you’re talking about people, though, you’re not really talking about them. You’re talking about a relationship and, specifically, about what your role is in this relationship that might currently be less than ideal.
The AWE Question: “And What Else?”
Decisive: How to Make Better Choices in Life and Work,
Four Practical Tips for Asking “And What Else?”
Stay Curious, Stay Genuine
Ask It One More Time
Recognize Success
Move On When It’s Time
The Paradox of Choice
