My preferences, like my decision to “top” in sexual relationships, or my desire to wear certain types of clothing only, were shaped by the deeply ingrained commitments to male dominance and sexism I maintained and didn’t deal with. But still I would accept invitations to speak about black life and politics—pointing my finger at others like an itinerant evangelist of a myopic gospel of black liberation—without realizing that the first, and most important, revolution I needed to push was an upheaval of the systems within myself.
