Pleasure and survival, touch and attraction, are not so easily pulled apart. I met up with another man in a park, turned to his body, sought refuge in his arms and in his bedroom, fucked, and disappeared for days with him because I located unspoken desires where they could not be found elsewhere. Not in sex education classes, living rooms, church sanctuaries, workplaces, or state institutions. And I was willing to deal with the consequences because I believed, because I had been told, that I would be infected and deadened anyway.
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