This Is Our Time: Everyday Myths in Light of the Gospel

by Trevin K. Wax

Tim and Kathy Keller believe our efforts to find the ideal soul mate are counterproductive. “We are looking for someone who accepts us as we are and fulfills our desires,” they write, “and this creates an unrealistic set of expectations that frustrates both the searchers and the searched for.”6 When people enter into the marriage covenant with these expectations, they miss the truth that marriage is “two flawed people coming together to create a space of stability, love and consolation.” Rather, they are looking for someone who will accept them as they are, complement their abilities, and fulfill their sexual and emotional desires. “A marriage based not on self-denial but on self-fulfillment will require a low—or no—maintenance partner who meets your needs while making almost no claims on you. Simply put—today people are asking far too much in the marriage partner.”