Social anxiety tells us we should find friends instantly. The semantics are subtle, but telling. Social anxiety tells us to find a friend—to win someone over right away—but real friends must be made. Friendship is a process, not a ready-made discovery. But that’s actually good news. Rather than searching for a diamond in the rough, it turns out the rough contains scores of potential friends. The raw stuff, the stardust that transforms into friends, is everywhere. Almost everyone is a candidate. Oddly, to make a friend, you don’t need the “right” person. Instead, the person becomes right over
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