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“You look great. A regular ladykiller.”
Good job Slate, try to support but instead remind him of the people he was forced to slaughter
“Ohthankyougod,” she said, stepping into his hands. “Not a god, just a paladin,” he muttered, then belied his irritated tone by waiting patiently while she used his shoulder as a stepladder and ascended the heights of Mt. Equine.
There was nothing but the horse. There had never been anything but the horse. Possibly she had been born on a horse. She was undoubtedly going to die on one.
I am here for anti horse sentiment
The horse brought up short, and Brenner lurched in the saddle and let out a sound that was just sort of a sob. “I’ll kill the beast,” the assassin rasped. “I’d cut his throat right now, but I don’t think I can get off if he falls down.” “It’s a her,” said Caliban. “You think that’ll stop me, god-boy?”
Accurate horse content
Brenner, fortunately, looked as if he might be permanently damaged. Slate approved of that. If she was miserable, someone else ought to be, too.
Slate looked up the stairs. There were quite a lot of them. I could ask him to carry me. No, that’d be humiliating, and then he’d have to carry Brenner, too. Actually, that’d almost be worth it. I wonder if he’d do it. Behind her, the assassin turned away from the stairs and locked his fingers on the edges of the knight’s tabard. Caliban stared down at him, lip curled in something between pity and disgust. “Send…beer…” Brenner rasped.
Why is this book so funny also fuck horses man
The stables are full, Brenner’s threatening to put a dagger in the eye of anyone who tries to get him off the bed—and I believe him—and Learned Edmund is apparently afraid that if he sleeps on your floor, your feminine exhalations will cause his genitals to wither and his bowels to turn to water. That’s a direct quote, by the way.”
I love when misogynists are creative with their misogyny it's so much more entertaining
The bandit leader stared at Caliban, then turned back at Slate. They shared a moment of horribly embarrassed camaraderie—did he just say that? Should we just pretend that didn’t happen? “Ignore him,” said Brenner, having gotten control of himself, “he has delusions of knighthood.”
Caliban slander <3
Then I started playing the Dragon Age games, and damned if we weren’t back in the land of self-loathing paladins again, knights with dark and terrible secrets that were blaming themselves for everything, blah blah blah. (Blackwall, I am looking in your direction)
A DRAGON AGE LOVING QUEEN I KNEW I LOVE HER
So I split it in half and send the first half to my editor, saying “I think this is a light swashbuckling love story?” and she sent back a lot of words about how apparently those don’t include carnivorous tattoos and dead nuns and rotting demons in one’s head and no amount of banter was going to get past that.
Obsessed with her
