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Plan B thinking (“What are some other things you could do if it doesn’t work out as you hope?”) is key to maintaining a healthy approach to potential setbacks.
Third-person self-talk is much more powerful than first-person self-talk.
Effective self-talk allows her to hold on to the notion that she’s capable—definitely not stupid—but simply made a mistake.
Explain to your child that many body sensations are caused by thoughts. Help them connect the two, and pay attention to signs from their body that they are getting nervous, sad, or mad.
Finland is at the head of the class here: they mandate twenty minutes of outdoor play for every forty minutes of instructional time.
good rule of thumb for the right level of intensity is that you should be able to talk but not sing.
dance.
Yoga, martial arts, horseback riding, fencing, drumming, and rock climbing all fall in a category of exercise in which you are using your mental and motor skills to develop your executive functions.
“What would you like to do or accomplish for the next week/ month/ semester/ by the end of summer?”
Help them make SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Time-Bound).
Are there inner obstacles? How will your child handle it if he is thwarted?
structure and external motivators are often the most effective ways to help kids with autism or ADHD to focus on a task, finish their work, and behave well in class and at home.
Rewards and other external motivators tend to undermine internal motivation for these kids, too, and should be used with care.
therapy with ADHD adolescents and their parents that places a strong emphasis on the promotion of teen autonomy (the STAND program—Supporting Teens’ Autonomy Daily)
If I find they have ADHD, I will say something like, “What I’ve learned is that it’s harder for you than it is for most kids to make yourself pay attention to stuff that’s boring, and that it’s hard to do something fast without making mistakes.”
Kids with ADHD tend to have low baseline levels of dopamine, and their brains use dopamine less efficiently than most kids. (Stimulant medications like Ritalin work by improving the processing of dopamine.) As a result, they tend to prefer small, immediate rewards to larger, long-term ones.
offer rewards. These can be effective motivators in the short term, as a way of making the child’s brain work more optimally (by increasing dopamine), but in most cases don’t think of them as a means to get him to do what you want him to do.
kids with ADHD are so often late bloomers, as they simply have to “wait” until their prefrontal cortex matures and comes fully online to find ways of doing things that they could not do successfully before.
study the work of Ross Greene and J. Stuart Ablon,
exercise will help boost his natural dopamine production.
meditation is also helpful in reducing ...
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anything that lowers stress levels will make the brains of kids with ADHD work more efficiently.
Children and teens on the spectrum appear to be wired in a way that makes them very easily stressed.
Kids on the spectrum find all but the most familiar environments and interactions stressful and unpredictable.
yoga-based relaxation technique called yoga nidra
When our kids are struggling, most of our work as parents is really on ourselves. That’s why our most fundamental message is to focus on being a nonanxious presence.
Give your kids opportunities to serve, such as helping younger children or working with animals. This is a wonderful way for children with challenges to develop a healthy sense of control.
“researchers found that soldiers who were especially good at spotting bombs in simulations tended to think of themselves as predators, not prey.”
we become successful in this world by working hard at something that comes easily to us and that engages
Part of growing up is knowing when to let go, and choosing what not to pursue.
explore not only what he liked but what he was better at than most people and to work hard at that.
recognizing and nurturing your natural talents.
The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything, by Ken Robinson. Ken is a visionary education consultant who argues that the place where natural talent and personal passion converge is where the magic of life and work happens.
What do I truly love to do? And what can I do better than most people?
