The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives

by William Stixrud

So what does a sense of control have to do with all of this? The answer is: everything. Quite simply, it is the antidote to stress. Stress is the unknown, the unwanted, and the feared. It’s as minor as feeling unbalanced and as major as fighting for your life. Sonia Lupien at the Centre for Studies on Human Stress has a handy acronym for what makes life stressful—N.U.T.S. NOVELTY Something you have not experienced before UNPREDICTABILITY Something you had no way of knowing would occur THREAT TO THE EGO Your safety or competence as a person is called into question SENSE OF CONTROL You feel you have little or no control over the situation5