On the Way to You

by Kandi Steiner

you should spend time alone. Travel alone. Live alone. You should try new things, figure out if you like them not just because your friend or boyfriend likes them, but because you genuinely do.

Dad and Mom never fight, not unless it’s about me. Mom is worried about me, and I hate that I upset her, but I’m not sure how not to. Honestly, I think my dad is right. I don’t have a reason to be depressed. We have money, we always have. I went to a good school, a good college, all paid for.

Most people would kill to have what I do. I think that’s why Dad grumbles under his breath when my therapy comes up, when Mom tries to make him recognize I have issues. I hate the word, too. Depression. It sounds so fucking stupid, and I feel stupid. I don’t want to go to therapy, or talk about my feelings, or question every fucking thread of my past looking for answers. What if there is no answer? What if I am just not a happy person. Period. The end.

Yes, it hurts to leave, or to lose it, but it’s also amazing to live it. It’s worth it, to me, to have the experience.”