When we’re born, as babies, we have no sense of who we are. If you watch a newborn, before long, she’ll hit herself in the face, because she doesn’t know the boundaries of her own body yet. As she grows, she’ll develop a sense of who she is. She’ll build up boundaries. A lot of that is healthy, and necessary. You need some boundaries to protect yourself. But some parts of what we build up over time have a mixed effect. Mark built up walls, as an isolated ten-year-old, to defend himself against the grief for his father that he couldn’t voice to anyone. But as he grew older, those protective
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