I Wrote This For You

by pleasefindthis

And then my soul saw you and it kind of went “Oh there you are. I’ve been looking for you.”

So if all we have is that glance in the window. If all we have is till this train stops. If all we have is till the sun comes up, till your lift picks you up. And if all we have is till the day I die. I’m ok with what we have.

So yes, we could kiss. I could kiss you and you could kiss me. There’s no science, plane ticket or clock stopping us. But if we kiss, it will end the world. And I’ve ended the world before. No one survived. Least of all me.

I think you’ll find you’re mistaken. My name is clearly written across the front and I recognise the scratch down the side (that happened in high school). This is my heart. You can’t just come here, and take it.

Joan of Arc came back as a little girl in Japan, and her father told her to stop listening to her imaginary friends. Elvis was born again in a small village in Sudan, he died hungry, age 9, never knowing what a guitar was. Michelangelo was drafted into the military at age 18 in Korea, he painted his face black with shoe polish and learned to kill. Jackson Pollock got told to stop making a mess, somewhere in Russia. Hemingway, to this day, writes DVD instruction manuals somewhere in China. He’s an old man on a factory line. You wouldn’t recognise him. Gandhi was born to a wealthy stockbroker in New York. He never forgave the world after his father threw himself from his office window, on the 21st floor. And everyone, somewhere, is someone, if we only give them a chance.

And if you can’t say yes, answer anyway. Because I’d rather live with the answer than die with the question.

It may have just been a moment to you, but it changed every single one that followed for me.

I don’t know if you felt that or not. But it felt like two people kissing after hours of thinking about it. It felt like two people talking after nights of silence. It felt like two people touching after weeks of being numb. It felt like two people facing each other after months of looking away. It felt like two people in love after years of being alone. And it felt like two people meeting each other, after an entire lifetime of not meeting each other.

There are a million important things to do. But none as important as lying here next to you.

You are the best parts of all the songs I love.

I love you. I love your eyes. I love your smell. I love your hair. I love your laugh. I love your skin. I love everything inside you. And I’ll try to make all the parts that I find, happy. Because you make me happy. So much.

So may you find in each other what you came here for. And trust that this is love because it is (love is trust). And tangled lives you may lead but into each other, never apart, till you cannot distinguish between being and being together.

And when I asked you how you’d been I meant I missed you more than I’ve ever missed anything before.

I know there was something before you. I just can’t remember what it was.

I lied when I told you I forgot. I know it doesn’t seem like a big thing but I wanted to tell you the truth and never, ever lie to you. Because that’s how it starts.

I guess I should say thank you, for cutting all my strings. But if it’s all the same to you, I wish you’d left my wings.

I just need you to be able to tell people I was here, I felt, I lived and I loved as much as I could, while I could. And that the person that I loved, was you.

If time takes me (and time will take me), I will come back as a single feather. So please come back as a breeze.

The heart is a muscle like any other and the best exercise you can do for it is called picking yourself up off the floor.

Then I was somewhere else, and it was bright. A voice said “If you’d carried on practicing that song you almost got right, you would’ve been great. Bigger than the Beatles.” It continued “If you’d carried on working on that book you almost finished, it would’ve changed the lives of many, many people.” Then it said “If you’d tried to reach the one you loved just a little bit more, when you almost had them, your life would’ve been completely different.” And I asked

“Is this what happens when I die?” And the voice said “Almost.”

It does not count if you believe in yourself when it’s easy to believe in yourself. It does not count if you believe the world can be a better place when the future looks bright. It does not count if you think you’re going to make it when the finish line is right in front of you. It counts when it’s hard to believe in yourself, when it looks like the world’s going to end and you’ve still got a long

way to go. That’s when it counts. That’s when it matters the most.

And you will find no fear here, in unkind words or the hardness of others. And you will find no sadness here, in the meanness of the world, in the anger that comes from those who feel small. And you will find no hurt here, in a million insults or a single, softly spoken lie. Because only a hard heart shatters. Only a hard heart, breaks.