Scary Close: Dropping the Act and Acquiring a Taste for True Intimacy
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Love can’t be earned, it can only be given. And it can only be exchanged by people who are completely true with each other.
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What if the people we consider to be great are actually the most broken? And what if the whole time they’re seeking applause they are missing out on true intimacy because they’ve never learned how to receive it?
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Sometimes the story we’re telling the world isn’t half as endearing as the one that lives inside us.
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It was torture to not tell people what I did. I never realized how much I’d used my job as a social crutch until the crutch was taken away.
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those of us who are never satisfied with our accomplishments secretly believe nobody will love us unless we’re perfect.
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Grace only sticks to our imperfections. Those who can’t accept their imperfections can’t accept grace either.
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I’ve noticed something interesting. The harshest people I’ve met over the years have had two things in common: they don’t fully trust anybody, and they view relationships as a means to an end.
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Somewhere along the line I think many of us buy into a lie that we only matter if . . . We only matter if we are
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It costs personal fear to be authentic but the reward is integrity, and by that I mean a soul fully integrated, no difference between his act and his actual person. Having integrity is about being the same person on the inside that we are on the outside, and if we don’t have integrity, life becomes exhausting.
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but attraction isn’t intimacy. What attracts us doesn’t always connect us.
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evolution happened in my life when I realized healthy relationships happen best between healthy people.
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It makes me wonder how many people have damaged their own lives by mistaking enablement for grace?
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The reality is this, though: a healthy person coupled with an unhealthy person will still result in an unhealthy relationship.
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THERE ARE PRUNING SEASONS IN LIFE AND THERE are growing seasons.
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Intimacy means we are independently together.
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Safe People is that deception in any form kills intimacy. Because intimacy is based on trust, any form of manipulation will eventually break that trust. Manipulation, then, became the enemy.
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WHENEVER SOMEBODY STARTS KEEPING SCORE IN a relationship the relationship begins to die. A scorekeeper makes life feel like a contest, only there’s no way to win.
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A Judge personality strongly believes in right and wrong, which is great, but they also believe they are the ones who decide right and wrong and lord it over others to maintain authority and power.
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THE FALSE HERO MANIPULATES BY LEADING people to believe they have something better to offer than they
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how many people have been made to fear something because somebody else had an agenda.
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Like I said earlier, when we don’t believe we are good or lovable, we isolate.
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our identity gets broken, it affects our ability to connect.
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more impact we will have. Acting may get us the applause we want, but taking a risk on being ourselves is the only path toward true intimacy. And true intimacy, the exchange of affection between two people who are not lying, is transforming.
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Codependency happens when too much of your sense of validation or security comes from somebody else.
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love was a decision, that it was as much something you made happen as it was something that happened to you.