Troublemaker: Surviving Hollywood and Scientology

by Leah Remini

and I don’t even blame myself. Certain environments don’t bring out the best in you, and I can say with full confidence that although I don’t have any regrets, The Talk wasn’t my finest moment.

There is no “right” way to be. I am flawed and imperfect, but am uniquely me. I don’t fit in and probably never will. And I don’t have to try to anymore. That other person was a lie. And let’s face it, normal is boring. We all have something to offer the world in some way, but by not being our authentic selves, we are robbing the world of something different, something special.

Scientology made the mistake of suing Debbie Cook, and in a Texas courtroom under oath, she described her experience in the Hole, stating that she had watched David Miscavige punch people, and that for twelve hours she was made to stand in a trash can with a sign that read “Lesbo” hung around her neck.

During this twelve-hour period, cold water was periodically poured over her head while people screamed at her to admit she was gay. (In Dianetics, LRH explicitly called homosexuality a “perversion.” Then later, he put being gay on the Tone Scale as “Covert Hostility,” which registers at 1.1 on the scale of human emotions, which is considered by Scientologists to be a person avoided at all costs.)

There is this concept—among not just Scientologists, but everyone—that we are all supposed to have it together. Whether it’s our work, love lives, family relationships, or even feelings about ourselves, we need to present this idealized image to others.