In order to avoid the tension, discomfort, guilt, or fear of loss, we simply say yes. Yes to spend time with someone, yes to talk on the phone, yes to do what they want. This, like all avoidance, provides short-term relief from uncomfortable feelings. But it generates greater pain in the long-term. The extended phone calls, coffee hangouts, lunches, dinner parties, or other unwanted encounters tend to be unpleasant and agitating. In addition, your own sense of strength and personal power is diminished, leaving you with less ability to boldly be yourself in the world, which creates another
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