When we were trained to be nice growing up, we learned that certain feelings are acceptable, such as happiness, gladness, gratitude and excitement. Other feelings, like sadness and fear are less acceptable and should be kept to a minimum. Other feelings, like anger and aggression are in their own category and never OK. Especially anger at family, loved ones, people who’ve done things for us, and so on. When an unacceptable feeling starts to form in our mind and body, our defenses kick in to keep it out of awareness. It’s tagged as “not OK,” and labeled as a threat. This can make us feel
...more
