Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty... And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, And Unapologetically Being Yourself

by Aziz Gazipura

Shadows 1. Frustration, anger, or resentment with people closest to you (partner, kids, parents, etc.) 2. Anger and judgmental thoughts about friends, colleagues, boss, customers, and clients. 3. Sexual desire of strangers, friends’ partners, and other people you “shouldn’t desire.” 4. Sexual feelings and desires you or others might deem strange, bad, or inappropriate (use of pornography, fetishes, bondage, etc.). 5. Dissatisfaction with big life situations (your job, being a parent, your spouse, your city, etc.). 6. Grief, sadness, and pain of loss (both recent losses and all the way back to your childhood). 7. Deep uncertainty or doubt, including self-doubt, doubt of God, doubt of purpose, doubt of any meaning in life. 8. Strong sensitivity to people’s comments, feeling deeply hurt and sometimes secretly enraged by them. 9. Desire for and fantasies about vengeance, retaliation, getting back at someone, or hurting someone. 10. Desires and impulses for physical violence (hitting, attacking, killing).