Psychologically, his focal point was his partner, not himself. He was imagining all of his actions as they would be interpreted and felt by her. In short, he was missing from the equation. To bring him back, I re-oriented him to the complete opposite end of the spectrum. “Just as an experiment, let’s say you were going to operate from your own complete self-interest–where every choice was based entirely on what was easiest, most desirable, or best sounding to you, regardless of how she felt–what would you do?
