The problem is I was approaching sex from the self-denying end of the selfishness spectrum. I was completely focused on her because I thought that’s what a good man “should do.” To do otherwise was selfish, misogynistic, repulsive to women, and bad. But actually, as with all other areas of relationships, moving out of self-sacrifice and into healthy self-interest is good for everybody. By tuning into yourself more, you actually get out of your head and into your body. As you enjoy yourself more, you create more passion and energy that makes a better experience for your partner as well.
