How to Say No Step one: start doing it. That’s the biggest and most important step in the whole process. Because much of our need to know exactly how to say no is really just fear. When we say we don’t know how to do it, it implies that we need to go learn how to do it before we can take action. This creates some sweet, sweet relief through some temporary avoidance. It gives us some breathing room so we can start saying no “later.” But to really gain the freedom to say no when you want to, you must start doing it. Now. The more you do it, the better you get, and the more skillful you become.
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