I told Candace, “I’m sorry, baby. I don’t think I can help you do this. It feels too involved. I think I’m going to leave and let you and your friends take care of it.” She understood. Two of her friends looked at me as I shared this, and one said, “Oh...” Candace later told me this was because her friends liked me and were disappointed I wouldn’t be hanging out that afternoon. I, of course, didn’t interpret it that way. Here’s what my mind did: “Oh...” = “Wow, what a selfish asshole you are. Your poor girlfriend is going through so much, leaving her home of ten years, and all she needs is
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